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     Does anyone else’s shopping list these days resemble more of a picture book or is that just our family?  Matt decided as soon as this whole thing was announced that we would only have one person in charge of shopping and that would be him.  “If you get sick the whole house shuts down, if I get sick we just deal with it” were his exact words.  At first it seemed like a good, acceptable, even sweet idea, but now that we are entering our 5th week of this, I am getting a little less agreeable to this plan.  First of all, when I say Matt never went true grocery shopping prior to this, that is not an exaggeration, he would on occasion, stop by the store to pick up an item or two but still barely knows where the grocery store is located after over a year, much less where anything is located in the store. 

     When I was on bedrest Matt did take on some of the weekly shopping, but pre-kids grocery shopping was far different!  The weekly list consisted of, Kraft Mac & Cheese, anything BBQ sauce could be put on (the mac & cheese and BBQ sauce was my nightly meal), milk for each of us, Tostitos (my breakfast) & Cinnamon Toast Crunch (to calm my stomach from the massive amounts of acid from all the BBQ sauce).  This may explain that sixty-pound weight gain during pregnancy and the fact that Madeson loves some good Tostitos and mac & cheese! Apparently I had stocked up on margarine before this happened; or my mom was kind enough to help with getting that, that will make more sense when you read further…

     Making a grocery list has now become me looking through the trash if I was not quick enough to get a photo of the used item, searching the grocery apps for photos and making the longest, largest megabyte lists you have ever seen, I try to include a photo of almost every item.  Otherwise, one of two things happen, we spend the entire shopping excursion on FaceTime, praying the internet will hold up and not glitch out the moment I am trying to tell Matt, up on the next shelf, no over to the right.  The dreaded other option, Matt makes an executive decision and we end up with organic bananas, which we have NEVER purchased in our entire life (nothing against organic, just not something we have purchased on purpose) or THREE pounds of margarine!  The exact right brand but wait for it, in stick form.  I really did not even think about including a photo of the margarine we use DAILY because I for one had no idea it came in stick form and also assumed it was a given that not many times have we devoured three pounds of margarine in the form of a stick.  The three part still baffles me but every time I use margarine I laugh out loud because guess how fast stick margarine melts on anything, not quickly that is for sure.  Our toast looks like it has been rototilled after attempting to butter it.  We will be laughing for a long time to come because three pounds of margarine is going to last us well beyond this quarantine!  We already had a pound and a half of butter for baking, so I can’t even use it up quickly for that….

     A bit of marriage advice for free, I did not mention these bloopers until Matt was completely recovered from going shopping!  Then, I gently asked if the organic bananas were intentional, I actually only eat bananas in banana bread form because of the texture.  I thought maybe he was not a fan of the regular ones, perhaps the texture was off or something to which I found out he did not even know there were such a thing as organic banana’s, so lesson learned.  I am glad I asked, I might have started buying organic one’s after this is over thinking it was what he wanted.  We are still stumped on the sticks rather than tub, he thought I wanted to package my own margarine and had no idea that it is not quite the same consistency.  In the grand scheme of the current situation, this is a very small price to pay.  You know what lightens the stress of trying to keep everyone home, healthy, educated and not yelling, THREE POUNDS OF MARGARINE!!!  What are some of the funny things you have encountered during this self-isolation?  Coming soon will be the topic of funny online schooling hoopla and blunders.

     Follow-up, this took so long for me to edit and figure out technology that Matt finally hunted down some regular form of margarine in a tub even, it only took 5 stores and multiple trips, but we are living the life now, no more pre-chewed looking toast or waffles!